Hello, I'm An Enemy Guard
By Andrew
Hello, I'm an enemy guard.
I'm big and tough and mean and hard.
I'll kill you with my massive gun,
And all you'll be when I am done
Is a chalk outline on the floor,
(Unless you hide behind a door
In which case I'll assume that you
Have thought of something else to do
And spirited yourself away,
And lived to fight another day,
And then I'll turn my back on you
And look for something else to do,
And say "I could have sworn I heard..."
And that will be my final word.)
--
This final choice plucked from the depths of the Intertubes is a neat and critical assault on the goldfish-brained AI patrolling the halls of Deus Ex. But, as we all know, this sort of short-term-memory loss applies to, well, every single AI patrol ever. Which is why we like it.
If you reckon yourself a bit of a poet, why not hit our forums with your lyrical lines - extra attention paid to the genuinely funny ones. In fact, uber-extra attention will be paid to any soul brave (or reckless) enough to create a YouTube video of themselves producing the same brilliant sort of pseudo-Beatnik recital poetry showcased on the first page.
If this feature is a hit, and you lot create enough stuff worth watching, we'll look at collecting it all in a follow-up feature. Though, of course, if nobody reads this feature at all then we'll 'deal' with the writer responsible for coming up with the idea and never mention videogame poetry again. Their fate is in your hands...
