The Wisdom Of Crocodiles review

Why you can trust GamesRadar+ Our experts review games, movies and tech over countless hours, so you can choose the best for you. Find out more about our reviews policy.

Despite copious blood-letting, bags of style and a compellingly creepy performance by Jude Law, this variation on vampirism just isn't horrific enough. Instead it tries to cover its blood and gore in a cerebral cloak, but there's not enough meat on its bones, and what starts quite chilling eventually ends up just plain silly.

Law plays a womanising Londoner who needs blood to stay alive, and so lures women back to his bachelor pad and chomps on their necks. Then of course he falls in love and can't bring himself to chow down any more. It's not a very complex plot, although the elaborations on vampire lore are pretty clever. The same cannot be said for the continuity, though - unless vampires really are able to change their trousers while shagging without using their hands.

The Total Film team are made up of the finest minds in all of film journalism. They are: Editor Jane Crowther, Deputy Editor Matt Maytum, Reviews Ed Matthew Leyland, News Editor Jordan Farley, and Online Editor Emily Murray. Expect exclusive news, reviews, features, and more from the team behind the smarter movie magazine.