The Worst Celebrity Renders of All Time

Fun Fact #1: This adaptation of Labyrinth was released solely in Japan.
Fun Fact #2: The Japanese believe David Bowie is the devil.

Contestant, your answer is... "shit."
You can probably figure out the question.


Keanu Reeves spent most of the '80s and early '90s on the same magnitude of dorkiness as professional doofuses like Pauly Shore and Howie Mandel. So we shouldn't be at all surprised when he looks silly in Bill & Ted's Excellent Video

Game Adventure for NES. (Thanks for including "Video Game" in the title, by the way. How would we have possibly known otherwise?)

That said, he looks extremely silly in the montage above. Way beyond the Paulyand Howie scale, and more along the lines of a Renaissance Faire reject. To be accurate, a crappy xerox of a Renaissance Faire reject.

Anyone who's played the original Tony Hawk game remembers how friggin' difficult it is to get the skater to turn directly towards the camera. Now we can finally see why. When your face has rearranged itself four times in four seconds, you might want to call a doctor. If you're the real Tony Hawk, you might want to call a lawyer. That degree of ugly should be actionable.

Sure, this Darkman screen kinda resembles Liam Neeson... if Liam Neeson rubbed his face off with an electric sander, injected bee pollen into his lips and took daily dips in a backyard oil well.

Yeah, other than that, we totally see it.


Remember that contest we teased at the beginning of the article? Because the screens above match so perfectly, our first idea was to ask readers to spot all the horrifying differences between the real Back to the Future Part III and the Sega Genesis version. Then we realized that number was somewhere in the gazillions and decided to scale back our competition to something in the actual realm of possibility.

Speaking of which...

You're now just one page away from our Worst Celebrity Renders contest! If you've been paying close enough attention throughout this list, and if you'd like to win a free game of your choosing,headto the next page for all the details and rules. Good luck!

Charlie Barratt
I enjoy sunshine, the company of kittens and turning frowns upside down. I am also a fan of sarcasm. Let's be friends!
Latest in Games
Mario
A surprise bonus Nintendo Direct is coming a week early: "There will be no updates about Nintendo Switch 2 during this presentation"
God of War
20 years later, God of War's original monster art has been revealed: behold this army of stick figures slapped on a whiteboard, no clue Kratos is coming for them
Assassin's Creed Shadows Naoe facing off against samurai warrior on red bridge
An Assassin's Creed Shadows fan is showing off some of the RPG's most impressive little details, and it's done more to get me interested than Ubisoft ever did
Assassin's Creed Shadows Yaya shouting at Tetsuo
How to recruit Yaya in Assassin's Creed Shadows
Someone is planning a joyride in Fortnite
How to complete Someone is planning a joyride in Fortnite
A large, muscly bloke eating noodles at a bar while two people point pistols at him from behind in Cyberpunk 2077.
The Witcher 3 and Cyberpunk 2077 developer enters into partnership with Pokemon Go owner to create a new game "set within one of CD Projekt's IPs"
Latest in Features
Google Pixel 9a smartphones on a beige background
One Google Pixel 9a feature could make it a better gaming phone than most budget mainstream models
Yasuke and Naoe ready to fight on the Assassin's Creed Shadows On The Radar thumbnail
On The Radar: Assassin's Creed Shadows coverage hub
Captain Planet #1
Captain Planet is back after 33 years with a "sexy" makeover and a message that's as important as ever: "Reality has gotten a lot less subtle"
Daredevil: Born Again trailer
Daredevil: Born Again episode 5 isn't a filler episode, it brings back the magic of old-school episodic TV
Assassin's Creed 3 screenshot of Desmond hilding a circular Isu artifact
Assassin's Creed Shadows' modern storyline is kind of non-existent and I couldn't be happier about it
An Assassin's Creed Shadows On The Radar thumbnail showing Yasuke and Oda Nobunaga armored up and on horseback, ready to ride to battle
"We really wanted you to live this history": Assassin's Creed Shadows is all about "perspective", says the game's cinematic director