Torino 2006 review

Snow: sportiest of all precipitation. In snow the rich and the brave don skin-tight ski suits and race at life-retarding speeds down the side of a frozen mountain.

It's Torino's mission to convey some of that excitement to our plump desktop-bound bodies, without endangering limbs or wallets.

The problem is, Torino lacks the consistent vigour required of a decent sports game. Winter sports are nothing if not vigorous, and Torino fails to convey the knee-exploding viscera of a number of them.

The skiing is so smooth and undaunting as to be a bore. Ski left, ski right, and by picking the most correct racing line you are the winner. Worse is the biathlon: mechanically functional and rhythmically challenging, but still as dull as an old bobblehat.

The skating is worse still - RSI-inducing left-right key hammering that will do as much damage to typing peripherals as it will to an old man's tendons.

Torino's most intense section is the luge and bobsleigh - those variants of extreme tobogganing that you sometimes catch 10 minutes of on TV at around this time every four years.

It's a reasonably accomplished arcade rendition of against-the-clock races - the terrifying jolting of high-speed travel along icy ruts is superbly delivered and fun to repeat time after time, even if it is framed by idly repeated comments from bored commentators.