Steel Irony
Delighted, Bumblebee breaks into 'I'm So Excited', courtesy of The Pointer Sisters and his radio. We cringe a bit and smile a lot.
But Sam has bad news: "I’m not taking you with me." Bumblebee visibly deflates.
Umm, remind us why not taking your first line of defence against the Decepticons to college is a good idea, again?
Seat Of Learning
So, Sam arrives at college, courtesy of a lift from his mum and dad - and not, say, on the back of his full-size pet robot. No style...
"Look at this place! I feel smarter already. Can you smell it?" gasps his mother. "Yeah, smells like $40,000 a year," gripes Grumpy Dad. HAHAHAHAHAHA shut up.
Shorts Weather
"Hey, beautiful! Made you a long distance relationship kit. I got you a webcam so we can chat 24/7," says Sam in voice-over.
And there's Mikaela, stretched out sexily on a bike with her bum in the air, doing some work which requires her to adopt a sexily stretched position with her bum in the air.
Strange Visions
Soon it's affecting Sam in weird ways. "I just had a full blown mental meltdown in the middle of my class. I’m seeing symbols!" he worries.
We see glimpses of Megatron and plenty of the aforementioned runes. We're not quite sure why the bloke sitting near him is grinning so much in a lecture. Maybe it's because the teacher is Rainn Wilson and he recognises him from the US Office.
Signs & Portents
Soon, Sam is manically carving the same runes into the ground. Perhaps he's preparing for a big Druid ceremony. Or maybe it's a Close Encounters-style continuation of his mental meltdown.
Or maybe... just maybe, he's unwittingly leading the other Decepticons to Earth? Yeah, that's the one.
Prime Time
Sam naturally runs to tell all of this to the one giant robot he feels he can trust - Mr Optimus Prime.
"We’ve kept much from you, Sam," OP admits. Oh, you think? Might've been nice if you'd filled the poor boy in a little bit more, eh, Optimus. Looks like the bigshot Autobot went to the Dumbledore school of Really Mysterious Mentors.
Anyone For Desert?
As Simmons continues his expository spiel in voice-over, Sam journeys to Egypt to investigate... "Archaeologists found these unexplained markings in ancient ruins all over the world."
"They gotta mean something, like a message or a map," says Sam. Well, duh. With that kind of perception, he could be Indiana Jones' son or something.
Under The Sea
Cut to deep in the ocean, where a certain old friend - sorry, enemy - has been kindly letting the local sea life use his face for a home.
Yes indeed, ladies and gentlemen, extra proof (if proof be need be) that Megatron is well and truly in the film, and not just in flashbacks - as we confirmed exclusively on Twitter the other day.
Michael Bay, your pants are so on fire.
Pyramid Scheme
What looks like the fully assembled Devastator clambers up a pyramid, showing no respect for the sacredness of the relic.
The pyramids play an important part in the plot, apparently. Something to do with the mysterious symbols...
Maybe they transform into a new robot who's been dormant since the pyramids were built and he's disguised himself as one? Uh, next...
Woooooooooaaaaaaaaargh!!!
Devastator's evil sucking plan takes in Autobot Mudflaps, which serves him right for standing around nearby, really...
Wonder if he'll make it? It's not like he's a main character or anything...
That's it for Trailer 3, then. Job most definitely done. If Bay can offset the rune-seeking mysterious mission stuff with the massive great robot action, we're well and truly sold.
Quick geeky trivia note on the Decepticons' spiky face logo: it's actually based on the face of The Fallen. He was banished to another dimension for encouraging Megatron to start the nasty band of 'bots in the first place and can only be seen through a portal, which distorts his image.
And so the iconic symbol was born...
