What if life gave 1000 Achievement points?
You're never going to Platinum real life
5G - Hi... Stebrian?
Forget someone's name and poorly cover it up by merging words together.
50G - Hired!
Get your dream job and prepare for a career.
5G - Shart
Ever go for a fart, and then a little more comes out? Yeah. That's this.
25G - Fired!
Downsizing, you know, the economy, and, um, sorry--you're fired.
5G - Coming out both ends
Get food poisoning and live to tell the tale.
10G - Embrace nerddom
Play Magic: The Gathering, Dungeons & Dragons, and Warhammer
5G - Done with that s***
Retire and get ready to spend all of your money.
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25G - Little versions of little versions of you
Have grandchildren and spoil them rotten.
15G - Midlife crisis
Buy that expensive car. Seriously, no one will stop you.
5G - Riddle of the Sphinx
You know, these diapers are quite handy.
Hollander Cooper was the Lead Features Editor of GamesRadar+ between 2011 and 2014. After that lengthy stint managing GR's editorial calendar he moved behind the curtain and into the video game industry itself, working as social media manager for EA and as a communications lead at Riot Games. Hollander is currently stationed at Apple as an organic social lead for the App Store and Apple Arcade.