Why Gamescom will make your life better next week

Ich liebe Gamescom

Or, in case you hadn't guessed, "I love Gamescom". It is best-described as the European version of E3, which means massive halls full of wondrous new games and thousands of people--both public and press--attending throughout the week. However, seeing as it takes place in Cologne, Germany, its likely most people reading this article won't be attending. And thats where I come in. Jarnimalism time.

E3 games have had a few more months of development time

Coming a few months after E3, its not merely a chance for European gamers and journalists to play the games that were unreachable on a different continent a few months ago. It often gets new demos of its own.

Behind-closed-doors demos are an eye-opener

But not for the reasons you might think. Sure, you get to see and even play new games months ahead of release, which is, of course, 'the dream', but the chats are often incredibly candid. It probably helps that the PR reps in question are tired, hot, stressed and sick of saying the same thing over and over again each hour, on the hour, for three days solid. Much more vulnerable than the succinct delivery of a one-off press event.

And because these talks are so candid and frank, secrets are shared that help shape GamesRadar for the rest of the year. So when youre reading something in October, it might well be as a direct result of Gamescom. And when youre not reading about a game, the same might be true. I could name at least one game that was described by its own PR rep off-the-record as shit during a Gamescom appointment. He wasnt wrong. That sort of thing saves a lot of time.

There's game-related awesomeness everywhere you look

By the time the doors are open to the public, it's a hive of game-themed enthusiasm and wonderful geekiness. There are people cosplaying everything from Kitana to the guy from Dead Space, awkward teenaged males taking pictures of people cosplaying Kitana (not so much the guy from Dead Space), stage events with people singing four-part Beatles Rock Band harmonies (guess which year I first went), people on rollerblades and MCs giving away prizes to eager people.

It's big without being overwhelming

E3 is traditionally a massive, energy-sapping clusterf*** of an experience. Gamescom is still all of those things, but slightly less extreme. Like the edges have been rounded off. The floors are wide and theres plenty of room for everybody (except the main thoroughfare when the public gets let in, but more on that later).

Gamescom gets some pretty big announcements

I was actually in the room when actual Sony actually announced the actual PS3 Slim. I know, I couldn't believe it either (cough). OK, that's not quite as cool as actually being in the actual room when actual Vernon actual Kaye proclaimed he was "SO ADDICTED TO GAMES! YEAH!", but Im not sure anything in my career will ever quite top that moment.

Games often have amusing equipment to try them on

Everyone wants their game to stand out, which means the demo pods are almost universally top-end tech. Farming Simulator 3D's demo featured a real tractor (bloody handsome it was, too) and iRacing had a full-size, sit-in single-seater simulator that was totally uncompromising in terms of its difficulty setting (perfect).

Even the slightly-crap-if-you-ask-me LittleBigPlanet Karting had little wooden sit-in karts to play the game in. With cushions. Any additional comfort to make the experience of playing that game nicer is highly welcome in my book. This is all good news for you because it means... (clutches for straws) er... you get opinion and insight of the experience the true enthusiast will be experiencing a few months down the line. Yep. Let's move on.

There's a business section that's always stampede-free

The Wednesday of GC is only open to journalists, but then the doors are thrown open to the public on the Thursday and all hell breaks loose. The massive hallways are instantly crammed with people and for a while, it's impossible to walk anywhere. Literally impossible. Mind you, some guy with a food trolley decided he was just going to keep moving through the crowd shouting something in German (Ein Frosch? In welche bidet?), and drove said trolley into the back of my foot. Wasn't even sorry. Don't worry, I killed him until he was dead, which made me feel much better.

There are genuine, game-shaped surprises on the show floor

One annoying aspect of having a packed appointment schedule is that you only see glimpses of the showfloor as you run between appointments each hour. By comparison, the public get to take their time and eat ice cream sandwiches between demo pods. But it is worth poking around the various booths, where you can still uncover a few previously-unseen exclusives just lying around, waiting to be seen.

Some of the people are cool people

I met Final Fantasy's Naoki Yoshida, for instance. He gave every journalist a small handheld electrical fan that lights up with the words 'Final Fantasy' on the spinning blades, which is obviously one of the coolest things I've ever seen in my life. But then the batteries leaked so I had to throw it away. But that wasn't Gamescom's fault. It was Yoshida's. I think it's quite telling that we haven't spoken since.

There was a bat in the building

I couldn't get a picture of it (this one is fake, sorry) because it flapped into a corner, but there was a real, live bat flapping around in the rafters one year. It wasn't even a Batman PR stunt or anything, just a wayward bat.

Essen sie Ja gern?

Gamescom may not have the aura of E3, but its by no means inferior. Its the highlight of the gaming calendar in Europe, used for more in-depth showings of fantastic new games after brief announcement trailers at E3 and a chance for your truly to practice his GCSE German in the real world. Eine tasse orangensaft mit ein meerschweinchen, bitte. So get excited and keep watching for some amazing coverage from the show right here on GamesRadar. Ja? Ja!