Wolfenstein review

It’s all about the guns, stupid!

Possibly the biggest star of the show here is the assortment of actual guns – not the super-powers, not the free-roaming, and (maybe) not the paranormal enemies. For the WWII junkies, you’ve got your standard MP40, bolt action rifle, rocket launcher, and grenades. Curiously, no shotgun. No shotty in an FPS? What the?

We like shotguns. A lot. Maybe it’s a good thing we’ve never fired one in real life. Still, we didn’t miss the ol’ head vaporizer here, because the super guns in Wolfenstein are downright evil in their ability to satisfy our darker urges. Sure, the Particle Cannon is just a re-skinned Chaingun, but the way it disintegrates Nazi assholes with a wonderful sizzling sound makes it brand new again.

There’s also the Tesla gun, which is about as skill-less as a gun can get, considering it will hit everything in a 90–degree arc in front of you. But the developers knew they had a gem on their hands and said “F-it, it’s going in!” Perhaps it’s the game’s version of a shotgun, or maybe a flamethrower (no, wait – there’s already a flamethrower also). Either way, running into a room full of ten Nazis and unleashing what amounts to a full-on lightning storm, with hissing arcs of electricity jumping along the floor, walls, and screaming faces, is a joy not to be missed. Ah, man, that thing is a hoot.

The aforementioned flamethrower gives you the horrifying screeches of pain you’d expect, and that’s all that needs to be said about that. Then there’s the Leichenfaust 44, which is essentially an energy rocket launcher, except it adds the humorous effect of deactivating gravity in its blast radius. The hardier enemies aren't killed by the first shot, leaving them floating helplessly, giving you a nice target for the follow-up shot. As their body evaporates, individual bones are left floating away into nothingness. As one can see, there is considerable satisfaction in the feedback of the weapons.