31. Family Party: 30 Great Games Obstacle Arcade
Because every parents idea of showing their kids a good time is to trap them within inches of a gigantic crocodiles gaping mouth. Other obstacles include playing soccer while Earths gravity shifts and using a treasure chest as a sled. Were also not sure how we feel about the white kid at the bottom, whos about to flatten an ethnic boy with a colossal red ball. Sounds like the makings of a hate crime if you ask us.
30. Art Academy: Lessons for Everyone!
Artistic horror movie buffs, rejoice! Now you, too, can paint fan art of the deeply disturbing children from Village of the Damned!
29. The Trash Pack
It's gotta be tough making a game about garbage look appealing--but there had to be a better route that didn't involve pies barfing up bright green fluid and some of the laziest fly renditions you will ever see in your life. Also of note is the (live?) chihuahua in the trash heap, whose owner has apparently sentenced it to death by suffocation with sentient waste. What a way to go.
28. Football Manager 2013
YEAH! We did it, guys! Oh, that's... yes! Feel free to celebrate without me! I'll just be over here then, screaming at the fans.
I'm so alone. Maybe they would like me better if my entire bottom row of teeth wasn't knocked out during that freak soccer ball incident.
27. Mario Party 9
AAAAAAAHHH OH GOD IT'S BLINDING US! Staring into this neon nightmare for too long may cause your corneas to melt, but it's worth it to see the tragedy that's unfolding behind Wario. Gaze in horror at Toad as he leaps to his death for a single star bit, whilst his yellow-spotted brethren screams out not to jump.On the opposite side of the box is an equally frightening sight: Birdo doing a sexy pose.
26. Inversion
You know what the average, everyday consumer loves doing? Tilting their neck at an uncomfortable angle, only to see an awkwardly posed man firing at something that's uninteresting even to him. Also: It's called Inversion, not "Rotated 90 Degrees."
25. Deer Hunt Legends
Look into that deer's eyes. See the abject terror on his face at witnessing your callous slaughter of his family. His mouth has been edited into a frown of horrified helplessness. Note that your gun's reticle is aimed directly at the deer's chest, so that he may suffer during his last moments instead of succumbing to the painless end of a headshot. Truly, we are the monsters.
24. Wipeout 3
Like watching overweight white people try out for Ninja Warrior, everything about this picture is revolting to the eyes. The garish color scheme, the inhuman expressions on these strange creatures' faces, the inability to tell just what the hell is going on. All we really know is that we hate it, and that it requires a Kinect.
23. Sports Champions 2
The lobotomized look on this poor family's faces tells a tale of forced servitude. It's Sony's take on The Hunger Games: these poor saps have no choice but to compete in virtual sports, all for the entertainment of a crowd that's never satisfied. The yellow-clad father has been driven to madness, and is mere moments away from clubbing his son over the head with a Move controller. And it's nice to know that half of these activities--archery, boxing, and skiing--appear to require two Move controllers when, let's face it, you only have one.
22. Lalaloopsy: Carnival of Friends
Right off the bat, we have the creepiness of the Coraline-style button eyes on these girls. Upon closer inspection, their wardrobes reveal an even darker tale: They've made a habit out of skinning their innocent animal friends and wearing them as tribal garb. The girl in the back has even gone through the trouble of embroidering her cart in rat skin, so that she may better enjoy riding on her M. C. Escher rollercoaster. Run while you still can, children--it's only a matter of time before these soulless dolls take a liking to wearing human flesh.
